Birdie's Little Secret
by the-scarlet-butterfly
Summary: Matthew is sick of being ignored and beaten up because he's mistaken for alfred. He does something awful to himself, trying to stop the pain. What he doesnt know at first is that a certain prussian cares quite a bit for him. Will they be friends? More? And what will happen when Alfred and Gil discover Birdie's Little Secret? Warning: Self-harm, possible suicide attempt later


(Heyyyyyyy guys! Soooooo this is the first chapter of this fanfic. Hope you guys like it!  
Disclaimer: I do not own hetalia or any of its characters. )

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**Canada's POV:**

_Invisible..._

That's what he was...and he knew it.  
Matthew was sick of it. He was sick of being ignored by people who were supposed to love him, the people who raised him and were there his wholee life... His Papa...His papa often forgot he even existed, or was always too busy fighting with his stepfather Arthur to care...

He had had enough.

Today had been the last straw for him... He's spent the day hiding from an angry cuban boy who had mistaken him for his cocky twin Alfred, but in the end, he was still found. The Cuban boy beat him to a bloody pulp... and nobody even bothered to notice him limping through the hals, banged up and bruised...bleeding and battered...nobody had cared...

He couldnt take it... He was sick and tired of either being the whipping boy who took the beatings for every stupid thing his brother did or being totally invisible, like he didnt even exist...

He was at his limit.

Walking through the front door of is house, he called out "Im home", despite the fact that he was almost sure nobody would hear him. To his surprise, His brother shouted back from the couch. "Hey Mattie dude! How was your day bro?" Matthew limped his way into the den, where Alfred was sitting indian style on the floor playing video games. Alfred's eyes traveled to his brother for a moment, then back to the game, when suddenly his brother's state registered in his mind and he did a double take. "Holy shit dude! What the hell happened to you man...?!"

Matthew supressed the urge to scream at his brother. _GEE I DONT KNOW WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR CUBAN PAL YOU FUCKING HOSER!_ ,he thought to himself, biting back the rage that boiled inside him.

"Nothing Al, I just tripped and fell down some stairs." Matthew responded, knowing that even though it was an obvious lie, his brother was much too dull to figure that out.

Alfred looked at him, appearing to be somewhat unconvinced. Matthew had to get out of there before he started thinking about it too much.  
Rushing past his brother, he speed-limped to his bedroom, shouting behind him, "Sorry Al, I have homework to do!", before closing the door quickly, and locking the door.

The truth was, homework was the last thing on his mind at the moment. The first thing was how he could make the pain he was feeling go away... He'd heard some different stories about methods used by other teenagers...the one that stuck out in his head was a rather simple one. Taking a deep breath, Matthew made his may to the bathroom. With a shaky hesitant hand, he reached for his razor. He examined it closely. Four small blades...they were so tiny...how much damage could they possibly do...? All he wanted to do was cut just deep enough to make the pain go away. So he took apart the razor. Picking up one of its small shiny blades, he took a deep breath, and examined it closely. It was sharp...very sharp...but it would do the trick. Swallowing his fear, he held the small blade against his wrist, and dragged it across the skin. Before he knew what was happening, there was blood already starting to drip out of it. He was afraid...but at the same time, he wasnt. He felt a little better. So he did it again...this time forming a much deeper gash on his arm. He smilied a little in spite of himself, and did it again. And again. And again. Before he knew it, there was blood all over the marble and in his sink, and he began to feel light headed. Quickly, he grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his arm, slowing the bleeding. Thoughts rushed through his head rapidly. He was so confused... He was bleeding, yet it didnt hurt anymore. He was angry with the world, but he was grinning a twisted insane grin that made him fear his own reflection...  
_Mon deui...What have I done...? _Matthew started to panic. How would he hide these gashes? They were so obvious... Then he had came to the painful realization that he didnt have to. He was invisible. Nobody would see them, because nobody saw him... It didnt matter what he did to himself, nobody would ever find out because nobody would ever look...nobody would ever ask... Nobody cared...  
A tear rolled down Matthew's face, but he smiled in spite of that. As he unwrapped the towel from his arm, and took a large bandage from his first-aid kit to keep the gashes from bleeding more and covered the cuts with it, he smiled to himself, as he continued to cry silently.  
"_Finally...I can make the pain fade a little bit...and nobody will ever know...and nobody will get in my way...I can finally escape it...for once, im almost okay with being invisible..." _He whispered to himself, whiping a tear from his face.

He'd finally found his Escape.

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Prussia's POV:

Gilbert strutted down the hallway, turning heads with every step he took. He was awesome and he knew it. He was on his way to meet his best friend Toni and Toni's tsundere Italian boyfriend Lovino so they could head to lunch. Todays lunch was sausage, and gil couldn't stop drooling over the image of it. However, his fantasy was abrubptly interrupted when he heard a cry for help. His head spun around, as he looked franticlly for the source. His eyes stopped on a smallish thin, slightly feminine blond boy. It took Gil a minute to register who he was, because he was slightly thrown off by the fact that the boy was being pinned against the lockers by Carlos, the large Cuban boy who stunk of Marijuana constantly.  
But Gilbert definantly knew exactly who the boy was. His name was Matthew Williams. The poor boy had the misfortune to be the twin brother of the most unawesome person ever. He would have bet any amount of money that Matthew was getting beaten up because he got mistaken for Alfred. Gil let out a low quiet growl, trying to suppress his anger. He didn't know why the whole scenario made him so unbelievably furious, but he did know he was seconds away from showing Carlos why germans have such a reputation for being merciless, relentless, and terrifying ,if he didn't take his hands off Matthew.  
But before He had a chance to go do something about it, somebody slapped him on the back. He spun around instantly, only to see Toni staring back at him. He groaned. He didn't have time for lunch right now.  
"Hola Gilbert, Come on, its lunch time!" Antonio grabbed his arm and tried to pull him towards the Cafeteria.  
Gil wouldn't budge.  
"Nein,Toni, I gotta do somezing about zhat first! Carlos is gonna hurt him und zhe awesome me cant allow zhat!" Gil stated, pointing to Matthew.

Toni looked over, then chuckled a little.  
"Relax amigo, let it go. Maybe Carlos will teach Senor Alfred a lesson, si? Now lets go before Lovi starts getting too grumpy."

"But zhat is not A-" Gil tried to protest, but was cut off by a whining pissed off hungry Italian, and he was dragged off to the lunch room against his will.

**-Later that day, after school- **

Gilbert shuffled his feet as he walked home. His usually feeling of overly cocky egotistical arrogance and self-confidence was nowhere to be found. He just felt like a dick. He was mad. He was mad at Carlos, He was mad at Alfred, though that was nothing new, he was mad at Toni, and he was furious with himself. He kicked the first thing he saw, which happened to be a meta waste basket, putting a rather large dent in it.  
"FICH FICH FICH FICH FICH! Zhis is all mien own fault! And zhat dumpkoff Alfred's but everysing is his fault so mein gott, I shouldn't have hesitated!"

Feeling a little better after yelling, he walks home, grumbling to himself. He decided he had to do something… He'd check on Matthew tomorrow. He owed him at least that much. Maybe he could even offer to be the boy's personal bodyguard. That thought made him chuckle a little bit.  
"Kesesese….Zhat actually might not be a bad idea." He smiled to himself, and made his way home.  
_Tomorrow._ He promised himself silently.

_Tomorrow I will make things right. _


End file.
